What Scientific Studies Say About Hope For Healing

For a quick refresher on the 4 attachment styles take a look back at last week's post. Looking to grow more secure in your attachment style? There’s hope... read on!

The Amazing Power of the Human Brain 

The “cards you were dealt” don’t have to be the ones that you keep in your deck. Similarly to how a computer can be rewired, the human brain can be “rewired,” too. The fancy scientific word for this mental rewiring is neuroplasticity. Plasticity is defined as “the capacity for being molded or altered.” Add “neuro” to that definition, and you’ve got something quite remarkable: the brain is capable of being molded and altered. In other words: there is real, scientific evidence proving that there’s hope for healing. 

Neuroplasticity and Attachment Theory  

In light of that, today we’ll look at one specific way to take advantage of neuroplasticity to strengthen your ability to trust yourself, trust others, and build healthy, resilient, joyful relationships—no matter what cards you were dealt. 

Step 1: Do Hard Things

We never said this was going to be easy… Studies consistently show that challenging yourself is good for your brain. Forcing yourself out of your comfort zone (in a safe, wise manner, of course!) actually makes your brain stronger! 

Let’s say you’ve seen people riding bikes in your neighborhood recently, and you think it looks fun, but you don’t have a bike and haven’t one in years. Maybe your caregiver was critical of you growing up, always mocking you for asking “stupid” questions. Going into a bike shop—when you know nothing about bikes—and asking a stranger—who is, purportedly, an expert on bikes—a potentially “stupid” question might be anxiety-inducing enough to make you drop the bike dream altogether. 

But what if you challenged yourself to do it anyway—to, in the words of Elisabeth Elliot, “do it afraid,” even if the fear didn’t subside?

And what if… It wasn’t so bad? What if the person at the bike shop was kind and helpful? What if they affirmed that your questions weren’t stupid at all, and that everyone starts somewhere?

Step 2: Be Your Own Friend — No Matter What

Or what if they were rude—but you walked out of that shop perfectly okay, new bike in tow? What if you affirmed to yourself that your questions weren’t stupid, and everyone starts somewhere? What if, even if this new stranger wasn’t a friend to you, you were a friend to yourself? 

Step 3: Repeat!

Now, imagine if just once a day—or once a week, even—you decided to do something hard and be your own friend leading up to, during, and after you bravely faced your fear. Don’t you think you’d look up in 5 years and find yourself encouraged that you can do hard things, and even when the fear doesn’t subside, it doesn’t get the final word? Imagine the security you’d be strengthening—first with yourself, then with others. Don’t you think you’d look back and thank your past self for investing, again and again, in who you are today?

It may not be easy, but it is doable, and it is worth it. You got this. You can do hard things. 

Verified Sources: US National Library of Medicine (National Institutes of Health), Neuroscience: Rewiring The Brain (Nature), Merriam-Webster, Mind Body Green

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Luke Lewallen, Mental Health Counselor