What if We Resolve to Replenish This Year?

The Myth of Resolutions

I think we can all agree on this…the world has been through enough the last two years to become victim to the “New Year, New You” mentality. Haven’t we had enough with the exceedingly high expectations for yourself that inevitably end with you falling short of an impossible standard, the disappointment of striving, and rigid rules that make your social life impossible? This year, lean into the gentle goal of recovery that will nurture your soul and make space for growth and healing. We’ve all been through traumas the last two years. Some have experienced the “big T” Traumas like sudden loss, severe injury, and abuse; others have experienced “little t” traumas like job loss, fear, and anxiety. Regardless, all traumas deserve attention and recovery. The new year is the perfect time to implement healthy (and realistic) rhythms that will replenish you and set (or re-set) you on the path to recovery.

Happy Healing 

One of my favorite parts of the holidays feels a little upside down. I love the day we put up the Christmas tree but I also really love the day we take it all down. I get to sweep in crevices I never get to sweep, I dust and light a fresh new candle, and I soak in the openness of my living room, which looks five times the size it did all of December. I love a clean slate – it’s an invitation to replenish. That’s what January 1st can be. Of course, it’s not magic. Nothing really changes but the page on your calendar and your insurance deductible. But mentally, January 1st can be the perfect time to rearrange priorities and peer into those musty, cobwebby places where trauma has been lurking. The truth is, cleaning out the debris from past trauma will help you cope day to day far more effectively and joyfully.

Expecting the Expectable 

One of the ways to destroy a goal (in a bad way), is to set unrealistic expectations. Resolve to pace yourself in recovery. Don’t expect the first week to provide a great epiphany or even the first month to propel you into feelings of bliss. Just as you wouldn’t expect a broken leg to heal overnight, the trauma in your past will not just suddenly and miraculously disappear. The work of your recovery will be rewarding but not speedy. So give yourself time…the time of an entire year to start your recovery. Beginning therapy, developing new healthy habits, and even making yourself aware of the nuances of your trauma take a great deal of time and processing. Walk into the new year with grace and patience for yourself, acknowledging that you won’t give up on yourself even if you run into roadblocks along the way. Remember that your goal for recovery is chiefly for your own health and stability. You have nothing but time to tell your story and find the grace that lies therein.

Verified Reliable Sources for The Content in this Article: CDC, Dr. Elizabeth Scott @ VeryWell Mind

Put It Into Practice

One of the simplest ways to begin exploring your trauma is to develop a daily practice of journaling. The experiment doesn’t have to be long term…commit to 4 or 5 days of exploring your trauma via different writing prompts. The results could be clarifying and help you gain new perspective.

Ask yourself:

1. What about your traumatic experience could be helpful to others?

2. Is there anything you regret you didn’t or weren’t able to do before the trauma took place?

3. Spend three days in a row writing in detail about your trauma. What details change or reappear with every writing?

4. What can you find to be grateful for regarding your trauma? That might feel like an impossible question to ask yourself at first. Explore who you are now and what you may have learned that has made you a more compassionate, self-aware, or grateful person.

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Luke Lewallen, Mental Health Counselor