Pop Quiz: How Do You Know if You've Actually Experienced Trauma?
“Trauma”
It’s a word that has become commonplace in recent years, shaking off the shackles of stigma and evolving past unhelpfully narrow definitions. In many ways, it’s a great thing that “talking trauma” is no longer taboo. Whereas past generations may have shied away from the term, or only associated it with soldiers returning home from war with PTSD, we now have endless resources to enlighten us on the nuances of trauma and how to respond to it wisely.
In this first blog post of our new series, Let’s Talk Trauma, we’re beginning with the basics: what is trauma, and how do we spot it?
What is Trauma?
A basic definition of trauma is “a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.” Beyond that, trauma is characterized by feelings of extreme fear, shock, helplessness, betrayal, confusion, and loss. Everyone responds differently to trauma, and all trauma is different, but traumatic events often render one completely overwhelmed and unable to cope. This can be known as the “freeze” response (you may be familiar with “fight” and “flight,” two other common responses to trauma).
The tricky thing about defining trauma is that it’s subjective—not like strep throat, where you take a test that comes back positive or negative. Trauma is harder to identify. Especially when it’s not so obvious. We tend to easily acknowledge trauma that seems “explicit,” like that of losing a child or surviving a natural disaster. It’s the less overt experiences of trauma that often go overlooked.
For example, we would all agree that experiencing a violent rape would be traumatic. But what about the girl in high school whose boyfriend repeatedly pushes her to cross her boundaries, despite her frequently asking that he wouldn’t? What if he’s never physically “violent” but guilts and manipulates her so effectively that she’s blinded till it’s too late? What if she doesn’t realize that in her fear of provoking his quick temper, she can’t think straight and makes decisions that don’t feel like her own? Many psychologists would call “subtler” experiences like this traumatic, too. Even if they aren’t as explicit as some others, they cause lasting damage. And it is through the damage left behind that trauma is often identified.
What Should I Look For?
One of the best things to do if you think you may be coping with the effects of trauma is to see a counselor or therapist. Consulting an expert can equip you with the right lens through which to view your experiences. But we also want to offer you a few common signs that may indicate that you, or someone you love, could be experiencing the effects of trauma. Those include:
Shock, denial, or disbelief
Numbness
Withdrawal
Frequent nightmares or insomnia
Flashbacks
Toxic guilt and self-blame
Gastrointestinal issues
Unexplainable aches and pains
Fatigue
Depression and hopelessness
Heightened anxiety
Difficulty concentrating
Agitation and feeling on edge
We could go on, and it’s imperative to reiterate that trauma expresses itself differently in each and every one of us. But there is good news for each and every one of us, too.
Trauma doesn’t have to be the end of our story! Or even, for that matter, its major plotline. It’s possible to not merely get by but thrive after trauma. We’ve seen it in ourselves and our clients, and we’re confident that you can see it in your life, too. In our next post in this series, we’ll dive into practical tips to address trauma and move through it, one step at a time, to the wholeness that awaits on the other side of healing.
Luke Lewallen, Mental Health Counselor