Maybe it's time to make friends with the person you've become
Who are you these days?
It may seem like a strange question but it’s one worth pondering. You may have a set notion about who you were as a child, a high school senior, and even a twenty-something, but chances are, the you of these days has just as many differences as the you of the past. Your story has changed you day by day, year by year, in some minute ways and in other massive ones. And so it may be worth spending some time getting to know yourself again and even more importantly, making friends with who you’ve become.
Is it Me You’re Looking For?
"Knowing and loving yourself helps you set good boundaries, take better care of your health, and love the world around you."
Our relationships are so integral to our life experience. Knowing we have people who love us, deeply and beyond just our accomplishments or failures, is absolutely necessary to feeling secure, happy and whole. But one of the most valuable relationships is the one we so often neglect first…our relationship with ourselves. How we relate to ourselves helps us see others with proper perspective, and gives us the ability to set good boundaries, take better care of our physical, emotional and mental health, and love the world around us better in all regards.
Getting to Know You
Not sure how to make friends with yourself? Find a way to think well of every bit of you: your body, your personality, your likes and dislikes. Make an effort to treat yourself well, make good decisions for yourself, and give yourself permission to consider your own needs. Chances are, it will be a process to befriend yourself, especially if the notion feels unfamiliar. But spending time to create a healthy relationship with yourself will have lifelong benefits.
Need some help getting to know yourself? Making friends isn’t all that hard…use some tried and true techniques on yourself.
Listen. Don’t ignore your intuition or your feelings. Listen to what your body and mind are telling you. If you’re having trouble focusing, practice a simple journal routine every day.
Set Limits. Refuse getting caught up in other’s expectations of you. Feel free to say “no” when you’re feeling overwhelmed or simply need some margin. The boundaries you set for yourself are invaluable and no one else can set them for you.
Practice Kindness. Speak to yourself as you do your partner, children, or best friend; lots of grace and lots of affirmation. If you have trouble thinking of how to be loving to yourself, write some loving affirmations on Post-It notes and stick them on your bathroom mirror and steering wheel.
Do What You Enjoy. Seems easy, but it can be such a challenge! Prioritize activities that bring you joy. Read, hike, play video games, travel, cook…taking care of yourself will only help you take better care of others without resentment, bitterness, or depression. Set aside a bit of time every day to simply do something you like to do and you’ll enhance your overall quality of life.
If you can’t find a way to even begin the process of befriending yourself, reach out to a therapist. It may take an outside perspective to help you see the beauty, value, and worthiness of yourself, and that’s ok! Most people struggle at some point to see themselves with love and compassion. The effort will be well worth it. Life can be much better when you’re living it with a good friend.
Put It Into Practice
Having trouble seeing yourself as a good companion?____
Start small. Try the 3-2-1 method this week.
Write down 3 things you like about yourself
Prioritize doing something that gives you pure joy 2 days this week
Set 1 boundary…practicing “no” may be the most valuable word you learn
Other Interesting Reads about Self Awareness
Verified Reliable Sources for the Content in This Article:
How to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself Every Day by Jacquelyn Johnson, PsyD. and Simone Marie