Potholes on the Way to Whole: Healing Around the Obstacles

Underlying Harm

If you or someone you love has ever suffered from addiction, you know it can form slowly like a vine tendril learning its way up a fence post. Little changes in the day can become strongly held habits that suddenly change your mood, your routine, your perspective, and suddenly, the outcome of your life. Even though things may look the same on the outside and your friends, family, and co-workers may not notice anything different about you, you become sharply aware over time that life isn’t livable without that thing: that pill, that food, that drink, that online shopping cart…whatever it is that makes things seem better until they’re not. It’s like snow blanketing the ground on a winter’s day, looking beautiful and shimmery and smooth and all the while eating up the roads underneath. Damage is being done to our inmost being when we experience addiction, whether it’s apparent to those around us or not. Our bodies and minds become tethered and our wounds (because everyone has them) begin to gape open. The harm is far deeper than physical dependency. 

The Space Between Holes and Wholeness

Everybody’s searching for wholeness. We’ve all got bits and pieces that are broken, parts of our hearts that have been shattered, and pasts that threaten to keep us down. When the search for wholeness focuses on things rather than on ultimate peace potholes begin to form in our life, and things can begin to look pretty hopeless. Worse yet, those pits seemingly cannot be filled no matter how hard we try. Stuffing them full of relationships, alcohol, self-harm, or control doesn’t work. In fact, further stuffing creates a deeper hole. In her book Addiction and Recovery: A Spiritual Pilgrimage, Martha Postlethwaite writes on her own journey to finding wholeness. “For a person with addiction, the addiction not only fails to satisfy the longing, it makes the hole bigger. This is where insanity kicks in. Though people with addiction know that what they are using to fill the hole is only making matters worse, they keep using it. And no matter how much they use, it is never enough.” The deeper the hole, the further from wholeness we are. It’s almost like a twisted game.

Where Healing Lies

“There are people who will help you see your potholes as portholes to a new way of life.”
– Martha Postlethwaite

It can be painful to hear the truth, especially when you’re suffering. But the truth is, whatever you’re addicted to may always present itself as an obstacle in your healing journey. The good news, however, is that your healing journey can begin at any moment. And once you’re on the path towards recovery, you can begin to see those potholes as what they always were…obstacles or even opportunities. You can hold someone’s hand as you take the path, navigating through those things that promise life but leave you wanting more. And you can begin to see more clearly what needs to be satisfied in your life by a greater love, a greater peace, and a greater plan. Postletwaite writes, “Repair is possible, though it doesn’t happen overnight. Fortunately, it doesn’t need to. There is hope. There is help. There are resources. There are companions on the road. There are people who will help you see your potholes as portholes to a new way of life. The hole that hollowed you out with sorrow and grief has the potential to fill you with joy.” What an incredible chance at wholeness we have! Remember that it’s never too late nor are you ever “too far gone”. Healing is always possible.

Verified Reliable Sources for the Content in This Article: Addiction and Recovery: A Spiritual Pilgrimage by Martha Postlethwaite

Put It Into Practice

 Whatever you do, don’t go it alone on the road to recovery.

When you’ve committed to healing, find a community to encourage and walk with you. Your confidantes can help keep your head above the quicksand if you feel weak along the way, help you spot potholes that seem to offer life, and remind you how far you’ve come. It’s so hard to see how long we’ve walked until we glance in the rearview mirror and the steady hand of a friend can help you do that. The path to wholeness is lifelong for all of us but its a path that can begin today. 

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