From Sweaty Palms to Calm Confidence: Overcoming Social Anxiety
We’ve all been there
You may have heard the term ‘social anxiety’ in recent years without knowing exactly what it meant – sounds like a serious issue, right? The truth is that people experience it at varying levels, and we all have most likely experienced some level of social anxiety. You look at the calendar and see an event, party, or meeting and can’t imagine having the energy to see it through. In fact, the idea of being with a large group of people–or maybe even a small one–makes you feel panicked, or sometimes nauseous. And when the event rolls around, more often than not, you find yourself looking for an excuse to bow out. Or you go and end up feeling miserable, isolating yourself, or unable to look anyone in the eye. Social anxiety is a problem that affects millions of Americans and it’s likely to have only been made worse since the quarantines of Covid.
What It Looks Like
Social Anxiety can look vastly different depending on the individual. For some, the challenge could be the paralyzing fear of entering a social interaction while others may find themselves obsessing about their behavior and conversations after the event. Pinpointing what your most difficult symptom is can help you navigate future scenarios and find the support you need.
Common Social Anxiety Disorder Symptoms:
Feeling nauseous
Your mind frequently going blank during a conversation
Feeling hot or sweating
Your body going rigid
Becoming hyper concerned with what others think of you
Worrying you’ll humiliate yourself or others
Constantly avoiding being the center of attention
Obsessively worrying about what you said or did during the social situation
How to Help Yourself
Rewriting your mental script is a great way to begin taking steps into overcoming social anxiety.
As with most mental health challenges, the best step towards healing is acknowledgement. Once you’ve determined you may suffer from Social Anxiety, whether it be debilitating or simply irritating, you can work towards full health. Rewriting your mental script is a great way to start. Ask yourself some good questions and give yourself the grace to answer them fully every time you feel afraid.
What is the worst that can happen at this event?
Find perspective. You are not entering a battlefield. No one here is looking to harm you.
What advice would I give my child or friend if they felt this way?
Which person at the event has not messed up a social interaction? Nobody is perfect!
Phone a Friend
We all need support. And sometimes, quite frankly, the narrative in our head needs some outside editing. Connect with a trusted confidante and tell them what you feel before, during, and after a social engagement. If possible, you may even take them to your next event for emotional support. Ask them to check in with you or stay close by. As with many fears and phobias, exposure therapy is one of the most helpful ways to approach Social Anxiety Disorder. Everyone has to attend meetings and gatherings throughout their lives, so practicing them with a friend may be one of the most helpful things you do to heal.
You have the power to overcome social anxiety, and you deserve to thrive in social interactions. With some deep breathing, self-compassion, courage, and maybe the support of a trusted friend you can find little victories. Be kind to yourself as you take the small steps of courage.
Put It Into Practice
Staying present is a good tip for navigating any situation but it is especially helpful when dealing with fear.____
What you imagine about the future is not real because it cannot exist yet. Take a deep breath, think of something you see, taste, hear, feel, and smell, and dwell in the current moment. Greet one person. Have the current conversation. Notice your feet on the ground where you stand. You are in this place and it is the only place you can be. Staying in the moment is one of the best weapons you have when dealing with anxiety.
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Verified Reliable Sources for the Content in This Article: “What Is Social Anxiety?” by The JED Foundation