The Frightening Jump Into Sobriety: Why It's Worth It
When Recovery Feels Like Too Much
Most everyone can attest that change is often hard. Even when change is good and sets you on a new, exciting trajectory, alters your life for the better, and makes you pivot in all the important ways, it still requires transitioning. And let’s face it: transition can be challenging. Accepting a new normal requires courage, and walking into new rhythms calls for perseverance. So for most of us, moving into the unknown is something we attempt with quite a bit of trepidation.
Even though sobriety is the only path to health for the recovering addict, pursuing a life that looks so different can be overwhelming.
Embarking on the journey of recovery is no different. Even though sobriety is the only path to health for the recovering addict, pursuing a life that looks so different can be overwhelming. Imagining a life without addiction may seem freeing, but equally as impossible or horrifying. The unknown is mysterious, after all. And embracing the unknown of a sober life may seem like simply too much to handle when compared to the familiarity of the comfortable yet dangerous routine of addiction. Many who are in recovery experience these fears that make them hesitant about moving forward. Perhaps the key to the first step towards healing comes in recognizing that these fears are not unique or abnormal, but simply part of the healing process itself.
“I can’t do this so why even try?”
Self-doubt comes in strong when we’re faced with any kind of major challenge, and that inner narrative has a lot to do with whether or not we believe we’re worthy of progress or health. We doubt whether we’re strong enough, smart enough, or resourced enough. And when an addict has been suffering for any length of time, overcoming their addiction may feel insurmountable at first. It’s important to remember that there is no perfect way out of addiction. Each person has their own journey, their own difficulties, and most of the time, even their own setbacks. None of their imperfections equal failure.
“If I admit I have a problem, I’ll lose everything I have.”
For many, simply confessing that they’ve developed an addiction means risk. Some may fear rejection, loss of their dearest relationships, or even their vocation. Seeking recovery could feel dangerous; even more risky than the addiction itself. It’s important to face these fears head on. There is no long term covering up the addiction, coping with its repercussions, or even escaping its physical danger. The path out is the path out. Recognizing that those who love you want the healthiest, best version of you for your own sake is key. Accolades and careers will come and go, but we all have only one chance at life.
“What if I get sober, but I’m still miserable?”
Learning to accept difficulties and celebrations as they come, healing your relationships, and learning to move forward in healthy, loving ways will mean a better you.
Getting sober promises a better life, so it’s natural to worry the promise will go unfulfilled. What if nothing gets better even when the addiction is managed? What if the relationships stay broken and you still can’t sleep and you’re depressed and anxious? What if nothing changes except the crutch is gone? These fears can keep an addict absolutely paralyzed in their current state. The problem is with the question. “What if…” presupposes that the sobriety will make life 100% better. Of course things will be hard again! That’s a guarantee of life. But learning to accept difficulties and celebrations as they come, healing your relationships, and learning to move forward in healthy, loving ways will mean a better you. Life will happen – but who you are and how you experience it will make all the difference.
Verified Reliable Sources for the Content in This Article: “6 Common Fears in Addiction Recovery - and How to Face Them” by David Sack, M.D.
Put It Into Practice
Feeling fearful is part of any big change in life. But sometimes it’s hard to even pinpoint that the emotion you’re experiencing is fear.____
Fearfulness can look a lot like anger or depression or even obsessive compulsive behavior. Take some time to reflect on what you’re truly feeling inside your body. This may look like sitting in stillness for a few minutes and recognizing what tensions or sensations you feel or it may look like practicing a flow of yoga and paying attention to how you feel during and after. If you’re feeling an intense sense of dread or nervousness, jot down all the reasons that may be fueling your fear. Simply acknowledging they exist will be helpful moving forward.