Change Happens.

At some point in life, your world will experience upheaval. Hopefully the “good upheavals” will far outweigh the bad…marriage, a baby, a career change, your dream home. But the “less good” upheavals are unavoidable too. Death, job loss, illness, and other unexpected and unwelcome life events happen to everyone. If you happen to be a person who appreciates stability and certainty (most everyone), you may find that upheaval and the stress it causes creates a difficult environment for your mental health. Big changes can throw your routines off, mess with your social habits, dip you into a state of depression, and make it hard to cope. 

Getting a handle on what it means to be “well” during chaos can help you right now if you’re walking into a season of change. Or it can help you in that future change coming your way that you may not yet be aware of.

One Step at a Time

“In so many life situations, we actually have very little control over what happens. We do, however, have the gift of our response.”

It seems obvious but it’s worth repeating: we all have limited capacities. Let’s say your change involves losing a job or needing to move quickly. You receive the news and your brain is flooded with details you probably have little immediate control over…how will you pay your bills? How will you find a new place? How will this change your career? How will your daily life be different? You find yourself mentally spinning out while trying to simultaneously find quick answers to all of these questions. But the truth is, we cannot possibly receive a big change and simultaneously figure it out. We have to (1) receive the change, then (2) sit with it and process it before we can (3) think rationally about the next steps. Here are a few tools to help you do all three:

1. Write it down. So easy, so cheap, so effective. Make a little bit of space to write down your thoughts about how your life is changing. Good and bad, happy and sad…give yourself a few pages of notebook paper to express your heart and mind as they grapple with the way your life is changing.

2. What can you do? In so many life situations, we actually have very little control over what happens. We do, however, have the gift of our response. Even if you find big changes completely overwhelming, think about what you can do, say, think, pray for, or organize that will help you move forward yourself. When negative changes occur, we often feel like we are being forced along without permission, but there is always something we can manage on our own. Finding those moments will build character, which in turn will give us strength.

3. Find the positive. It sounds trite but it can actually change your brain chemistry. Take note of what you can be grateful for in the midst of your big change. The cortisol levels in your brain will balance, decreasing your feelings of stress and anxiety, and you’ll remind yourself of the blessings in your life. Everybody’s got them. Sometimes you just need to intentionally look.

4. Make plans. Having to get a new job? Dream about the first trip you’ll take when you accrue vacation time. Experiencing loss? Make a simple plan for how to get yourself out of bed in the morning and a cup of coffee in your hand. Give yourself something to look forward to that you decide, and don’t be afraid to start small.

It can be terrifying when your life looks different… if the change is sudden, or even after careful planning. Give yourself plenty of grace to create new rhythms and adjust your expectations. Find support to help you figure it out and take comfort that your brain can completely adapt to a new normal. You’ll get through the big change and chances are, you’ll be grateful on the other side.

If you’re finding it difficult to navigate your life changes, reach out to us. We’re here to support you and help you get back to thriving!

Put It Into Practice

Phone a friend!

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Just about everyone who’s made it to adulthood has experienced some serious change. Ask your friends for a few testimonies – reach out to mutual friends who may have been through a similar situation, and whatever you do, don’t go it alone. It’s pretty amazing how hindsight is 20/20. People will probably encourage you with how their life thrived even after being thrown a curveball, or how they’re thankful for what they learned along the way. You’re living out the story you’ll one day encourage someone with. So tune in and take note. Big change often means big growth.

Other Interesting Reads about Tools To Help You Thrive

Verified Reliable Sources for the Content in This Article:
Processing Big Changes via Mental Health America